5 Ways To Get A Date Without Technology

Dating & Sex

I like swiping with the best of them. Online dating is like peeking into the front window of a well-decorated home. Our crafted profiles are dating resumes displaying the best of what we have to offer. But ask yourself, when was the last time you got a date without technology?

Don’t get me wrong, online dating and user-friendly apps have brought together people who would have never had a chance to meet otherwise. That aspect of the technology driven world of relationships is amazing. Even with all its benefits there still exists a cold isolation with this type of exchange. Gone are the days where you both fumble over your words, blushing and laughing. Instead you stare at a screen, racking your brain for the perfect words, synthetic sentiments.

I’ve been guilty of saying the following, “I have to online date because it’s impossible to meet people organically.” Difficult maybe, but it’s hardly impossible.

There are other ways to get a date with out Tinder or technology:

 

flirting at the bar
#1 – The Law Of Averages

Online dating might be your only option if you refuse to leave your living room. I know this is harder for some people than it is for others but coming from an individual with anxiety, the world can be a beautiful place if we venture out.

Start by going on a hike. Go to a free music festival. Become a regular at one of the fitness classes at your gym. Sing karaoke at the top of your lungs. Being spontaneous and active will attract the right kinds of people. If anything it’s about the law of averages. The more people you meet, the more likely you’ll find someone you want to date.

Plus, Spice Girls Karaoke is a blast!

#2 – Talk To Strangers

When I’m out at a bar or restaurant I sometimes turn into a living mummy. I stand straight and stiff, not turning too far in either direction. I blame this on my childhood. “Never talk to strangers!” “Stranger Danger!” This societal standard might have been what led to resting bitch face.

If you think the person next to you at the bar is cute, try smiling at them, with … EYE CONTACT! Gasp.

Be open. Be friendly. Next time you’re out with friends, try talking to at least three people who aren’t part of your group. Get out of your comfort zone. Most of all: check your attitude at the door!

 

woman approaching man at the bar
#3 – Defy Gender Stereotypes

I am a heterosexual female who has it ingrained within me that a man should make the first move. This concept is so antiquated that I’m surprised my iPhone is letting me type it.

This is not just about women making the first move. Men shouldn’t feel intimidated to ask a woman out because she makes more money than him. There are power shifts in every type of coupling out there, gay, straight … unicorn. I don’t think there is such a thing as unicorn couples but you get my point. Screw every societal expectation when it comes to who should be asking who anything.

Speaking of asking…

 

#4 – Not Everyone Like Cabernet

If someone asked me advice on how to deal with being turned down, I would have to stifle my laughter. Listen, say I’m a glass of cabernet. If I offer myself to a malbec aficionado, he may not be interested in my particular type of wine. It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate the label but there’s something about the other flavors in malbec that he enjoys better. It’s not personal.

 The fear of rejection can prevent us from making meaningful relationships. Getting turned down might sting for a second but you won’t know unless you try.

Here’s the worst thing that can happen:

Me: “Hey, you want to go out sometime?”

Them: “No.”

Now you move on. It’s really quite that simple.

 

get off your phone
#5 – Put Down The Cell Phone

Make yourself available. No, I’m not talking about painting the word single across your forehead. Desperation is desperation and unfortunately that attracts no one.

I wish we could put audio in this post, so I could properly scream at you and myself and everybody else on the planet, put down the damn cell phone. When I go out to the bar I don’t need to check my emails for the 20,000 time that day. They will be there when I get home. Why would a man come up to me? I may not have painted single across my forehead but I might as well have painted screw off, don’t come near me.

We all want to take pictures, to capture the moment. What we fail to see is we might be sabotaging possible experiences because of the vibe we are projecting to anyone in our proximity.

Swipe right all you want but there’s an appealing element to the idea that one moment you could be walking down the street and then “bam,” there they are, the person you’ve been looking for.

Don’t worry, I’m not suggesting you up and delete your apps any time soon. It just seems silly to put all of your eggs in the virtual basket.

Emily Ann Hansen
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Emily Ann Hansen

Emily Ann Hansen is a writer and teacher living in Baltimore City. She is originally from Chicago. She graduated from Columbia College Chicago with a BA in Fiction. After a few too many shots of tequila she started writing about dating in an age when swiping and typing have replaced talking and real heartfelt communication. She offers her experience in hopes that people will learn, laugh, and know they are not alone. When not gabbing about relationships and sex, she is writing young adult and adult fiction.
Emily Ann Hansen
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